2020 would have to be one of the hardest years of my life so far. I struggled with talking about my feeling as well as expressing them. I felt like my bedroom was the only place I was safe and secure. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I know now that I wasn't doing anything wrong. I felt alone, upset and was hiding my true feelings from my mates and my family. Mentally, I hurt a lot. I didn’t know what to do other than to give up. I thought that no one was there for me and that no one loved me. I remember vividly standing at a bus stop on Brisbane's north, thinking that tonight, my pain would end. I told myself not to worry, 'just do it', 'end the pain', 'no one will care mate'. A simple text from my mate asking, “are you all good bro, you seemed off today” is what made me stop and think. To that guy, it may have meant nothing, but to me, it made all the difference. My struggles didn't disappear, but I knew that people cared, and that was enough to allow me to speak up. I was able to open up, to family, friends and to my GP who referred me to help. A simple conversation, may have saved my life. Before 2020, I didn't know what mental health was, or how hard it can be, but my experiences have shaped me into the person I have become. To anyone reading this who may be struggling, reach out, because your pain is temporary and no body doesn't want you here. You are not alone.
